Kanchanaburi. Pt 2.

Kinda forgot to mention the teacher weekend was spent in Kanchanaburi. As this means absolutely nothing to you, I'm hoping you'll let it slide. Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

What should have been a 5 hour bus ride, of course, was much longer. About 8 hrs getting there and 11 coming back. We stopped, and stopped and stopped and stopped. All in good fun though (and exhaustion).

Day 2 was devoted to sunrise walks and kayaking, "bamboo rafting" to an "island", more swimming and karaoke, visiting the "Hollywood of Thailand", and The Bridge over River Kwai. All quotes necessary, as none of these things were anywhere near what they claimed them to be.

Solid proof of my second sunrise. 

This was somewhere in the neighborhood of 6:30 in the morning. Getting Madam into the kayak was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. There was about a 2 second period where I was genuinely worried about her, but mostly we were just cracking up laughing. She was sooooo scared by the process of situating herself and getting the kayak away from the dock. She said it scared her because it was so small, so at anytime she could just plop right into the river. I could visibly see her fear of bumping into the dock. Once they were about 5 feet away, and she felt confident she wasn't going to helplessly float underneath and get trapped, she just thought it was the most hysterical thing in the world. Good times.

Okay. On to the "bamboo raft" experience. What they really meant was "raft with a few pieces of bamboo on the sides for decoration" experience. 

What I imagined:

My reality:

Now let's play Where's the Bamboo? I mean seriously, people. I am still down to hop on some random-ass wooden raft pulled by another random-ass wooden motorized raft, because who cares. I'm sure it's fun. But don't be calling it bamboo. Not even close. See the clump of trees in the top left-hand corner? Did you guess? Yeah-o. The island. I was at one point told we would be exploring said island, but at merely 100 yards in diameter, why would you bother? I'm positive its sole purpose was to provide stability for the raft, as my fellow adventurers couldn't have possibly gotten in and out of the water without the added support. And, go ahead and take a moment to notice the gambling. They just couldn't help themselves.

I know I'm working out of order here, but I had to do it. Do those eyeglasses look strangely familiar to you? Yes, they do. Because they look exactly like mine. Tee hee.

I got Madam in the early morning hat get-up, had to get Pi Ow. Awesome. Not sure if I've ever explained this but "Pi" is used in Thai when addressing someone older than you, and it is a sign of respect. Madam is different, because she was a french teacher for many years, and picked up the second nickname as a result. Her Thai name is actually Pi Na.

Alright, back to the raft. Those of us non-gamblers threw caution to the wind and took a dip in the River Kwai. I have no idea the degree of stupidity I had reached when determining it was a in my best interest to jump into this particular body of water, but so far I am alive and well. 5 days later and still going strong, so I'm just gonna' assume it's all okay and I will NOT be randomly overtaken by deadly bacteria in the next couple weeks. I certainly considered this consequence when I was there, though. 

Madam and I after swimming. You'll notice that we are sitting on the bamboo section of the raft, and that her eyes are closed, which is due to the intense brightness of the sun. She, however, along with the general Thai population, simply does not wear sunglasses. Ever. I have seen them on a few kids in their late teens, but it is most definitely a result of western influence. Like the ability to swim, eye protection is simply something they need. And they don't have it. Ouch!

So now you've seen the photo and I know what you're thinking. All that showing off, swimmer extraordinaire, and here I am with a life jacket of my very own. Do not be fooled. To avoid a potentially uncomfortable wet t-shirt, wet body situation I wore one while on the raft. More than necessary. 

With some of the younger teachers, who I didn't know at all before this trip. They were really interested in me, wanting to take photos and ask me all kinds of questions. They didn't speak much english at all, so we spent our time together just staring and smiling awkwardly at one another. 

Moving on. The first stop on what I believed to be our direct journey home (idiot) was the Thai Film Studio in Kanchanaburi. The Hollywood of Thailand if you will. At school, we have a lot of students named Film (yes, weird) and they all pronounce it Feem. I never understood why until this weekend. Thais simply can't say film correctly. The teachers were all talking about the Feem Studio, and I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. When we arrived, it all came together in a flash. Ahhh hah. You just can't say that L. Got it.

By this point in the weekend, exhaustion was a severe understatement for my condition. After waking up at 4:30 on Saturday, going hard all day and falling asleep outside in the heat after 1 am only to be awoken at 5:30 on Sunday, not ever taking a shower and almost never using the bathroom (I'll get to it), and having a paralyzing karaoke experience, I was more than a little messed up. I could barely see straight, much less make decisions or get excited about something.

I was in no mood to hassle. Heck, I was in no mood to move. I was ready for bed, but it wasn't coming anytime soon. The film studio was first. What happened there was a hott Thai mess. I'll keep it short. They wanted me to pay foreigner price. Ummm, hell to the no. I'm not dying out here in this scorching heat, running around with dozens of Thais, and even carrying my work permit for you to class me as a farang. The deal is, work permit = Thai price. That's the deal!!! Honor it. 

They wouldn't, and I certainly wasn't going to pay, but I also didn't mind skipping the whole thing and napping instead.

Pi Ow wasn't having any of it. She was tired too, and for whatever reason this just pushed the wrong button. She was livid, and she made it known. Running around finding managers, really creating a fuss. And there I was, my feeble, weary attempts to stop her falling short.

After about 10 minutes of heated discussion and yelling, I paid Thai price and went on an adventure in which I had completely lost interest. But I couldn't say no after there was a brawl on my behalf.

As a result, I got to see some pretty cool stuff, and sweat off three more pounds that I desperately needed to keep.

This was inside some mock-palace. Everything was made of styrofoam, but I would have never guessed had some one not shared that bit with me in English. Mostly, I just lagged behind the group, not understanding a word of the tour or a thing that was happening. I did have some rare explanations here and there, so I learned a little about the ancient history, particularly about the war with Burma, which was sweet.

They are so resilient. In this photo I am leaning up against the wall of a building for support. We're standing here, not because we wanted to, but because our mini-bus had a flat tire. I mean, this is Thailand. Look at them though. They are all laughing. It was really good for me to see. Even more than that, some of them are laughing while in jeans and long-sleeved shirts. I do not understand their fashion choices. It is absolutely not cool enough for that outfit, ma'am.

Me = tired panda. Apparently, the King of Thailand himself has ridden this very elephant. That, my friends, is big stuff.

All of the Buddhas in Bali had long earlobes like this, but I had never seen one in Thailand. I asked, and was told they believe people with long earlobes will have a long life.