Quick re-cap: I am locked in to teaching another semester at my school if they resign with my company, and I have given them until the end of February to make it official.
AKA -- my personal deadline for re-commitment is after my last day of school. Now, when the kids ask if I'm leaving, I have absolutely no idea what to say. Uhhhh, maybe?! Kind of a real bummer. I love it here, and if I'm not coming back I want a proper farewell. For me, it would be the equivalent of graduating from college and never saying goodbye to anyone. Just walking away. Totally not acceptable. I need the closure for such a big part of my life. It's simply too important.
I have decided to go forth 100% with the mentality that I'll be heading home to stay. I want to make my peace with Thailand, not just all of a sudden be gone, never to return. I couldn't handle that. I would have to fly back here to see everyone one last time. You know, really do things right. Flying again kind of sort of completely defeats the purpose, and isn't an option. I also believe at this point it is so much more likely I will not be returning.
Remember Flo, the English Dept Head? She seems to think completing the contract this month will be no problemo. I have received repeated reassurance from her all is A-okay. Reality check here. This is Thailand. Nothing ever Ever EVER happens in a timely fashion. Never Ever. This process should have started two weeks ago but company and school have yet to meet. End of the month, my fanny. I'll believe it when I see it.
I was really messed up (overwhelmed) about the whole ordeal for a couple weeks, but have gotten myself in a good place with teaching here a third semester. I have learned so much this year and would be a better teacher, which makes me really happy (hah, I'm cool). It would be great for me and for the kids, obviously a super fantastical option.
Basically, I will look like a mini-fool if I return. Hey guys! Sooo great to see you! Yeah, I remember all those photos and sad, sincere goodbyes. I remember the cards and gifts. That was so sweet. I'mmmmm Baaccckkkkkkkkk!
It is worth the risk at this point. Updates to come as I have them. For now, I'll keep waiting, waiting waiting. And taking ridiculously awesome photos of my ridiculously awesome students, like this guy.
Okay so I had to add more photos. Even though you don't know these kids, aka the photos are meaningless, get on my page for a sec. Pretend they are your children and you think they are the most adorable creatures you've ever laid eyes on. With me??! Okay, thanks. Now you can look.
This kid clearly takes the cake. I mean, how excited could you be?! Rock on, 14-year-old. Rock on.
It might not be so "teacherly" of me to single out two kids in a class of fifty and say they are my favorites, but I'm gonna' go right ahead and do it. These two will knock your lights out with their awesomeness. And I love them (honestly, I love their entire class, so I feel it is okay for me to focus on just the two for a sec). On the left, that's Jo. He reminds me of my nephew Jacob like you wouldn't believe. By default, I love him. And then, there's Bot. Even with his eyes closed I know you can see what a cutie-pie he is. I have Bot to thank for turning this class around and making them love me. And listen to me. Ahhh-mazing. He is in it to win it. Love him.
Hi. I only found your blog yesterday (I was browsing the web in anticipation of a holiday I might take in Thailand this Autumn), and yet I still feel a mild sense of loss and sadness at the thought of it ending, having only just discovered the gem that it is. It's quite a strange feeling. You write so naturally and effortlessly - your postings are a joy to read.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with whatever the future holds.
David, UK.
Hi David. I am so glad you are enjoying the blog. Thanks very much. If you have any questions about traveling out this way, I'd be happy to help. I am always up for a Thailand chat! Otherwise, it is an amazing place. You will absolutely love it. Chok Dee Kah!
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