Do Not Travel Abroad with Your Kids. You Fools.

I mean what are you doing? What are you really doing? Who are you trying to fool? Those kids aren't going to remember this experience, and even if they do, what good is it? Did they really see the culture and the life in Bali, or Thailand or wherever the hell else you think it's a grand idea to parade them around as 7 year olds? Think they really got something from it other than the fancy schmancy hotel and beautiful beach resort you shacked them up in for several days, with their own personal driver? Wow, they're really going to appreciate home more now and of course they have a broader understanding of the world. Good for you. Pat yourself on the back.

Or you can put them out there, staying with the locals, riding public transport. Roughin' it. Give them a taste of the reality and humble them a bit. But then, you know, maybe you should concern yourself a bit with their safety... 

Before I go any further, let me make it clear. These are just my opinions. If you don't like them, fine. I mean, I don't even have a kid, who the hell am I to judge? (Even though I might not be qualified and I know it, don't be mistaken, I am most definitely judging).

Okay, so I've had these feelings for awhile. Seeing kids around Thailand seriously irks me. It is simply inappropriate to bring a child into any tourist area of this country. Wrong. End of story. Bali is a bit different as you are not necessarily exposing them to a raucous, sexually ambiguous scene. It's much calmer (where I was). But still, honestly, what's the point?? Soooo much money and effort and they're too young to remember. 

And, children are obnoxious. Okay, okay. Let me rephrase. American children are obnoxious. Don't kid yourselves, you know it's true. So why bring an obnoxious representative of our country to a foreign land?? I guarantee the natives will not forget how your crazy offspring were running amuck while their children worked to prepare your food all day long. 

Story insert: Walking through a small village in Bali, a rented SUV drives by very slowly and a little boy, maybe 8, thrusts his torso completely out the window, yelling and waving at the locals at the top of his lungs. HELLLLOOOOO. Hello. HELLO. HELLLOOOO. hellooo. One last time. Obnoxious. 

And even if by some small miracle your children don't act like the little jerk-faces they are on your two week vacation wonderland, you lucky soul. I hope they don't take the world for granted when there 16 and have already been to 10 countries.