2010 has shed many a harsh light on my lameness, none of which is more telling than my new-found desire to hit the hay lightyears before midnight, sans alcohol. True story. As a result, it comes as no surprise I was the first to duck out on the Farewell Party- Chiang Mai (details coming soon). However, this meant a 15 minute walk solo in the mean streets. Well, not quite mean streets, but you know, the streets. I would bet the odds were on my side in the safe-o-meter, as crime in this city is nil, but risking it just didn't feel right. I'm pretty much an all-out wuss in the walking-alone-at-night department, but I've accepted it, and you should too.
So this left me with a couple of options, and after 1.) an attempted haggling with songtaew (big truck taxi) drivers, only to arrive at what seemed like an exorbitant fare, I went with 2.) bumming a ride from a local. This is almost always successful if you know how to pick your motorbike mug. The thought occurred to me only as I saw her drive by. She must have seen me looking because homegirl stopped without my so much as waving a finger. I knew immediately she was the perfect candidate to escort me to safety.
Turns out, this wasn't just any lonely girl out and about, no no. She was a bar girl. And, dear friends, bar girl is nothing more than a nice way to say hooker. And I knew it. The way she was dressed, the men hooting at her as she drove away, her telling them she would be back. I felt her kindness though, and was relieved to have the option of riding with her. Where she was going I have no idea, but on the way she dropped me safe and sound. Didn't charge a thing, only offering up general curiosities about my well-being on the ride. Why was I alone? she wanted to know. Where was I from? And, Ohhh, you're a teacher! That was exciting news, let me tell you. Yadda yadda yadda, until I was locked-in, tucked-in, snug as a bug-in-a-rug.
I recognize this was a judgement call, and you might be questioning mine at the moment. I assure you though, I did not put myself in harm's way. Not All's well that ends well. Only, All's well on this night.
Situation Number 2: Police Bus Raid.
Obviously, significantly more intimidating. In situation number one, worst case scenario was shelling out more dough than I wanted to arrive safely at my destination. While less than desirable, completely do-able.
This however, was somewhere along the lines of peemypants terrifying. I do this weird thing in similar predicaments over here. Simply put, I freak, imagining all these horrific, worst-case scenarios. Like- the souvenirs I purchased from the market are laced with drugs. Okay, basically that's it. I have this overwhelming fear of being caught with drugs. And I couldn't possibly stay further away from them. In general, yes, but WAY more specifically in Thailand. That's a quick way to kiss the rest of your life goodbye, and the idea of it haunts my dreams. As a result, you will not meet an individual less likely to find themselves in trouble of this particular variety. Yet I fret.
So I'm sleeping, probably 1 in the morning, only to wake up after my body registered the bus had come to stop. Just barely open my eyes and I am face to back with an officer. Yikes! What's going on? Sitting there trying to keep my cool while simultaneously assessing the situation didn't do me any favors. There were probably 6 cops standing on the bus, two of which were within arm's reach, grilling passengers directly beside me. And these travelers were quivering in their seats. Unh-uhhh. This doesn't look good. What are they looking for? I was soo scared they were going to search the shopping bags I had yet to check, only to find remnants of suspicious powder, and then haul me off to the clink without a moment to catch my breath.
The likelyhood of this happening is pretty much like -.05%, and I know it. But it still scares the bee-jesus outta me. Plus, they were looking for illegal Burmese and Laotians anyways (people were showing papers), and didn't even bat an eye in my direction.
Whew. Crisis averted. Time to exhale. Does this story terrify you, too? This is my least favorite part of living in Thailand. What a nightmare. I'll leave you with a chat excerpt shared with a friend that made me feel heaps better about my over-reaction.
Me: I went wayyy up north this past week, and I caught a motorbike ride home from a hooker one night, and my bus got raided by thai police
Intense
Hayley: holy sh*t
I don't know how you can be scared of planes when stuff like this happens in your life.
Yeah, point taken. I should really prioritize my fears more appropriately. Until then..
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