Finally. As Promised, A Fanny Pack Picture.

Oh my gosh, Shut Up. Is she for real? 

Why yes, I am so for real. You can be excited.

See, it doesn't even look bad. It looks c.o.o.l. I know your sitting there chewing on your lip, debating whether or not you have time to finish the morning cup of coffee in your hands before rushing out to purchase your own amazingly awesome and super chic fanny pack. It's okay, go ahead and take your time with the Cappuccino. I'm guessing there will be at least one left for you when you arrive at the store. Just a hunch.

And a bonus. Taken from the top of Mount Batur, the easiest of all volcanos to climb in Bali (do not be fooled; it will kill you if you let it). Isn't the inside of the crater absolutely stunning??? I was impressed.

And Welcome to the All About Me Section

Yes. I'm taking it there. This has nothing to do with culture or obtaining new knowledge or anything that could possibly be of interest to you unless you are interested in me. So cheers, person-who-is-still-reading. I appreciate you too.

Well, I wanted to go to Bali because umm, DUH, it's Bali. But I also needed some time to get away and evaluate my life and goals. An unexpected turn of events has really got me thinking and Holy Schnozberries I have some decisions to make. Like, it's go time. What do I want to do now? 

I'm gonna' level with you here. I'm scared to go home. Didn't expect that one, did ya'? I've been gone for so long now. I'm different. You're different. I'm terrified of feeling like an outsider in my own home, which is exactly what's going to happen. Now, that doesn't mean I can't get through it, but for now the warm, cheery comforting thoughts of Texas and America are gone with the wind. I recognize this is a normal part of 

long-term travel, and I will say I have high hopes for readjustment. 

But then, how am I going to make a living? I mean, really? So I can teach. Ehhh. Or I could write. I would love this one, but I'm realistic enough to know it's likely nothing more than a pipe dream. This is how I see it going: 

Me: Hi National Geographic, Texas Monthly. I think your amazing magazine would benefit from having me as part of the team. Where do I sign? 

NG/TM: Oooh, that's sweet. Quietly shuts door in face. End scene.

So that leaves me with what? Hooking? Kidding. I know there are other options; I'm just not particularly psyched about any of them. 

So then maybe I teach abroad again, this time in an affluent country (Hong Kong and UAE in the running) and save some big bucks. But after, then what? How is it that my only real goals are to be married, be happy, and be a mother? Take a chill pill. Not tomorrow or anything. Like. The future. Isn't this a problem though? Isn't it exactly why women go to college and educate themselves, so they have more options and independence? And here I go not setting a good example. The thing is, I want a job. I just don't have any career goals. Woah. I guess I should join the ranks of millions of other Americans sitting on their couches eating bon-bons with their right hand and cheetos with their left, whilst strategically flipping channels and waiting for Mr. Wonderful to fall out of the sky and into my lap. Yes, I see that working out stupendously.  It's just, I'm not lazy. I don't want to sit around all day without a job. Quite the predicament. 

Okay, okay, I would assume well over half the American population doesn't actually like their J-O-B. We all have to work. I get it. I'm on it. I guess I'll dive into the corporate world and suck all of the money out of it I can get. Every last penny.

Moving on to some recent personal realizations:

• I'm not, nor will I ever be a competitive journalist. I feel extremely uncomfortable invading people's personal space by taking photographs or     pushing them to answer questions. Not for me. I only see myself working on long-term personal projects.
  
• I could be a nature and/or landscape photographer.
  
• My only potential career goal is writing. Go me.
  
• I am a moderate adventurer, if you will (I know. Shocking I can do anything in moderation).

Do Not Travel Abroad with Your Kids. You Fools.

I mean what are you doing? What are you really doing? Who are you trying to fool? Those kids aren't going to remember this experience, and even if they do, what good is it? Did they really see the culture and the life in Bali, or Thailand or wherever the hell else you think it's a grand idea to parade them around as 7 year olds? Think they really got something from it other than the fancy schmancy hotel and beautiful beach resort you shacked them up in for several days, with their own personal driver? Wow, they're really going to appreciate home more now and of course they have a broader understanding of the world. Good for you. Pat yourself on the back.

Or you can put them out there, staying with the locals, riding public transport. Roughin' it. Give them a taste of the reality and humble them a bit. But then, you know, maybe you should concern yourself a bit with their safety... 

Before I go any further, let me make it clear. These are just my opinions. If you don't like them, fine. I mean, I don't even have a kid, who the hell am I to judge? (Even though I might not be qualified and I know it, don't be mistaken, I am most definitely judging).

Okay, so I've had these feelings for awhile. Seeing kids around Thailand seriously irks me. It is simply inappropriate to bring a child into any tourist area of this country. Wrong. End of story. Bali is a bit different as you are not necessarily exposing them to a raucous, sexually ambiguous scene. It's much calmer (where I was). But still, honestly, what's the point?? Soooo much money and effort and they're too young to remember. 

And, children are obnoxious. Okay, okay. Let me rephrase. American children are obnoxious. Don't kid yourselves, you know it's true. So why bring an obnoxious representative of our country to a foreign land?? I guarantee the natives will not forget how your crazy offspring were running amuck while their children worked to prepare your food all day long. 

Story insert: Walking through a small village in Bali, a rented SUV drives by very slowly and a little boy, maybe 8, thrusts his torso completely out the window, yelling and waving at the locals at the top of his lungs. HELLLLOOOOO. Hello. HELLO. HELLLOOOO. hellooo. One last time. Obnoxious. 

And even if by some small miracle your children don't act like the little jerk-faces they are on your two week vacation wonderland, you lucky soul. I hope they don't take the world for granted when there 16 and have already been to 10 countries. 

Boring But Necessary Details

----- Flights, Accommodations, Costs, Exchange Rates, Food, Transport and Maps -----

All very important when it comes to travel, but sadly, not the biggest page-turner. Let's get this out of the way. 

Flight: I went with Air Asia, a budget airline if I ever saw one. Lucky for me, I come from America, land of the I hope you don't know any better, because our airline sucks airtravel opportunities (CONTINENTAL!!!!!). I do know better, but I was prepared for the worst, and what I got was still far superior to any US carrier (you all should be ashamed of yourselves). Nice, big leather seats. That's what they had to offer me. For the four hour flight, a shorter distance than NY to LA, a nice, big leather seat was all I needed. I could also stand up straight and my bag fit conveniently in the overhead compartment. Additional bonuses. 

It cost 11900 baht ($360.28). Purchased 4 days in advance. 

6 days in advance, you're looking at 7555 baht ($228.73). Not too shabby.

Accommodations: For this, I did a bit of research online and booked only my first night prior to arrival. There are literally dozens of options in Ubud (pronounced U-bood), ranging in price and comfort level from crackhouse all the way to fancy, schmancy uppity resort. You could spend anywhere from $5 to $200 a night, depending on what you want. I made a reservation at Brata 1 guesthouse, and ended up staying my entire trip. It was clean and safe, and they made breakfast. It is a traditional Balinese housing compound (made a bit more comfortable for the traveling westerner), so most of the people who lived there were family. It was nice to see the granddad wandering around. There was a temple on the grounds, which I thought was pretty awesome. And I really enjoyed how open and willing they were to talk about the lifestyle and the culture. I would imagine most of the guesthouses are similar, but I was happy to be where I was. I used them to book all tours (after shopping around), and they consistently made me a better deal.

My first two nights, $12 USD. Last four nights, $10 USD. 

I am positive I could have found something cheaper had I really searched, but I was very happy with my diggs and therefore willing to spend the extra $3 a night. I realize you are probably in shock that I might have wanted something cheaper than ten dollars, and cannot understand there really is a difference between $7 and $10, or $10 and $12. But in Bali, living off Thai Baht, yes sir. Every little bit counts.

Cost: Bali can be as cheap or expensive as you would like. I had 300 USD for 6 days, and I was fine. I spent it all, but it was very easy to budget. All of my money went to tours. I could have easily lived on $15-$20 a day had it not been for that, but you know, I wanted to see the sights. It costs anywhere from $15 - $100 for a tour, depending on what you want and your bargaining skills. Mine were all in the thirty to forty price range, and I got anywhere from $2-$10 off the asking price. And I shopped around. Listening to what other people paid, I would guess out of every 10 people, I was in the top two for cheapest price. Always go cheaper, you'll get it. 

White Water Rafting - $30 (asking $35)

Cycling - $30 (asking $32.50)

Volcano Trekking - $35 (guesthouse price and I paid in full; 

in town they were asking $45 - $50 after negotiation)

Souvenirs were shockingly cheap, and I should have taken more advantage. If you have the chance to go, look into it. They have some really amazing stuff. If I have one regret for Bali, not looking into the shopping is it. I am so quick to turn hagglers away, but their culture is so rich and unique, it would definitely be worth it to have a reminder. 

Exchange Rates: SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! You will get screwed here. When I saw how much money I was given compared to how much it was actually worth I felt bamboozled. They got me, and they got me good. I'll introduce the players and then let's break it down into a mathematical equation.

I'm dealing with Thai Baht, US Dollars, and Indonesian Rupiah. Now, I looked into it a bit before heading out, but I don't worry too much about exchange rates here because I pretty much assume I'm never gonna' get a deal when I'm dishing out baht. With that said, let's take a look.

First, I tried to go to a bank in Thailand. No bueno. No can do, no sireebob. Next stop- airport.

I brought 15,000 THB with me. All of the following information is according to online currency converters and Lonely Planet. I fear this will look like a bunch of mumbly jumbly numbers of no relevance, but go with me for a second.

15,000 THB = 455.08 USD

455.08 USD = 4,272,300 IDR

Taking it one step further one could reasonably assume 15,000 THB = 4,272,300 IDR; this is in fact supported by online converters.

Soooo, you can imagine my dismay when at the Bangkok airport my 15,000 THB equaled a mere 3,300,000 IDR. That's a loss of $100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Straight bamboozled. 

Get this. It's even worse in Indonesia (and you thought that wasn't possible). Thanks to the effing airport tax!!!!!! I had to learn the hard way. Why in the world would nobody tell me about this??! I feel like I properly prepared for my adventure with more than adequate research, and no where did I read, Oh and by the way, if you actually want to leave the country, you have to pay a tax at the airport. Suck on that, suckah. We got you, bitch. 

They got me good. I did not have the whopping 150,000 Rupiah on hand (which is necessary at this airport to even think about getting your butt back home), so I had to exchange my bahts (incorrect, it's most definitely baht). And a big thanks to them for a fantastic sixty six cents on the dollar rate. It was sweet, really. Buuuurrrnnnn.

Quick Recap: 

• I should have been vacationing with 4.3 million Rupiah, instead I had 3.3. Ouch.
  
• Bali airport bamboozles suckers into paying to leave the country while offering a very generous 66 cents on the dollar rate. 
  

Food: As you would expect, the more touristy, the more expensive the food. For a full meal, including a water, fruit drink and dessert (or beer), I was paying about $7 in town. Food ranged from one to three bucks. Outside of town it was easily half price. I read Ubud was the best place in all of Bali for food. I don't know what they're talking about, unless they mean Western food, and that's absurd. After two and a half days of searching for Balinese food, I succumbed to the kitschy coffee shops and romantic eateries that lined the streets. Could have been Austin or San Fran. How exciting for me. I did get some great Mexican food, but I mean, come on, let's be a little authentic. I'm not going to go so far as to say local food wasn't there, but it certainly wasn't convenient. 

I did enjoy traditional Balinese breakfast every morning at my guesthouse, and by enjoy I mean absolutely loved. Two slices of toast filled with warm bananas and gooey deliciousness, pressed together in toastie form (aka jaffles), complimented with tea or coffee (both amazing) and a bowl of fresh fruit. Yumm!!! I'll delve more into the coffee a little later, but for now you should know there is a reason they're famous for it. It is soooo soooo yummy. I loved it all. The tea, surprisingly, tasted like tea from home. 100% not expecting this, but what a nice little treat.

Also, they have amazing desserts. They call them pancakes, but they're not. More like Ethiopian bread, only sweeter. They are perfect filled with bananas and sprinkled with a bit of chocolate sauce. 

Transport: This was hands down my biggest issue on the island. Publicly, it kind of doesn't exist. They have only bemos, an open mini-van of sorts. These run on no schedule and don't have specific routes. For me, with only 6 days, not so possible. I would have to be living there for it to be worth losing an entire day to travel 25 km. So like, what do you do? I'm not really sure... Some people rent cars, but then there are signs all over about environmental awareness and how bad that is, plus for me it was simply out of the budget. They do have tourist shuttle busses that are crazy expensive, but will transport you to all major parts of the island (this is what you do), or you can just rock the tours (what I did). Also, if you are crazy, you can walk or cycle or rent a motorbike. I give a solid no recommendation to all unless you are not concerned about possibly losing your life in a treacherous motorbike accident or happen to be a trained long distance cyclist or whatever. Otherwise, the answer is no.

Maps: Coming soon, which could of course mean never.

Let Me Introduce You to My Sister, Kay

Right now I am in Bali living the sweet life. Just finishing up my fourth full day, and I have a plethora of new experiences to share. But for now, I'm not going to do any of that. I'm going to talk to you about Kay.

And WHYYYYY would I do such a thing???????

Yesterday, at 4:15 a.m. while hiking up an active volcano, I realized she is my go-to person when I need to get through a sticky situation. I use her all the time. I can't believe it has taken me so long to draw this conclusion, but it is very, very true. Also, I use Caitlin's humor and my mother's strength, but without a doubt, mostly Kay.

Por qua? Because thinking about how she would react to a potentially treacherous situation makes me laugh hard enough to breeze right on through any near calamity. Before I continue on, [Kay] you should know this is written out of love. 100%. Thinking of you has absolutely gotten me through my worst moments. Now what would Kay do??

For example:
Remember the time we were sitting on your front porch in Wimberly, and there was a katydid on the wall??? Oh my gosh the neighbors must have thought we had been invaded by a mutant strain of hyper-aggressive scorpions traveling in packs, chasing us around the yard with stingers pointed by the way we were fussin' and hollerin'. It was a green, completely harmless little thing. Not even a roach. A katydid. I guarantee you anytime I see some freak-ass bug that makes me want to run and hide under the covers, I think of us on your porch and assume more likely than not, it's harmless and doesn't want to hear me screaming. Then I walk away chuckling to myself, feeling more confident than ever.

---Side note: I would love to see your reaction to the bugs for dinner options. I can only imagine it would not go well for the poor soul trying to sell you fried roaches and crickets. I'm sure he'd think twice before questioning a foreigner again---

Remember when you were in the garage in Montgomery, holding your son's hand, pretending you were all big and bad going on a mouse hunt?? Yeah, you're all talk and we all know it, but we love you none-the-less. One look at a teeny-tiny, helpless little mouse and you likedta jerked that boy's arm right out of its socket. Screamin' and hollerin' and running as if a rattler had just tried to bite your foot off. This is at the top of my list of favorite moments. Anytime a rat scurries by when I am near the water it comes to mind, and God it makes me laugh. But don't worry, I stay away from the rats. G-rosssssss.

And remember all those times we tried to hike up Enchanted Rock??! **I recommend skipping this one if you'd rather not see any vulgar or explicit language (sorry grandma)** This is what I thought of in Bali when starting out on what I was told would be an easy hike up to see the sunrise. Fekking liars. So, it's 4 in the morning and all of a sudden I'm exhausted, climbing straight up rock and volcanic sand for what seemed like an eternity, not seeing a damn thing except what was right underneath my feet (this was my saving grace, I tell you) and I'm thinking, What would Kay do in this situation??? Well, you wouldn't have done it. You would have quit, but the bitching and moaning that would have ensued between the starting point and your collapse is what got me through. I was dying, but I was laughing on the inside, and I kept going. Something along the lines of Who the fucking fuck climbes this shit, and I don't need to prove a good damn thing, and Oh my god, how much fucking farther do I have to go, and Shit, I really think I'm about to die all came to mind. And all put a smile on my face. To give those of you non-natives the lowdown on Enchanted Rock, it's (just like it sounds) a rock, not a mountain. It always took us five times longer than expected to climb, and it always involved lots of bitching and I quits before we finally made it to the top. If we made it to the top that is, success was never guaranteed with the two of us.

I also thought about you in Bali while white water rafting. Remember that time we floated the Guadalupe in April (we're idiots, and we were frozen idiots on that day), and that little grass snake tried to get in your tube???? Seriously, what a riot. There you were, trapped in the river, in your tube, no where to go, and this snake trying to get a piece of that. Now, we both knew it was harmless, but clearly, that was not the point nor was it our concern at the moment. Your attempts to get it off without actually touching it were quite a sight. And of course you were screaming and hollering all the while. Classic. I don't even need to mention how terrified we were of the three feet mini-waterfall at the end of the float, as I'm sure you can imagine. Back to Bali- this week when I went through actual rapids, had to duck to avoid lowhanging bamboo briges as if my life depended on it (it kinda did) and flew down a 5 meter drop (15 ft)!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought about you the entire time. And how would Kay react to this situation? The answer: quite comically. This kept me entertained the entire drive home, so thanks for that.

For this next one I'm gonna' take you back in time a bit to my first night in Korea. **Language alert** What a nightmare. If you don't know, after approximately 30 seconds in my apartment I started crying. How did I hold it together? Here I thought of my mom's strength and Kay's reaction; I needed a double dose. But, I imagined Kay's response to be something like the following: Umm, you're joking right? How could you possibly expect me to live here? Not even when hell freezes over you freak. Either take me back to the airport on your dollar or put me in the nicest hotel in the city, thankyouverymuch. I will not be staying here for fuck's sake. And I got a laugh out of it. Remember in college when you saw my dorm laundry room? Taking in the old washer and dryer and stacks of anonymous clothes lying around, you immediately informed me I would be doing laundry at your house for the next year. In that case it wasn't necessary, but I guarantee you I would have taken you up on the offer had I been able to do so from Korea.

Remember when I said this post was 100% out of love??? Love Love LOVE LOVE LOVE. Love. I love you, and sincerely thank you for the ridiculously awesome memories that have gotten me through my toughest times in Asia.

Nobody Nobody But You. Clap Clap. Point Clap.

I think it's time for you all to enjoy a song that is now constantly on my playlist. I just can't seem to get enough of the most rockin' K-Pop band to ever exist. 

Enter: The Wondergirls. Check. it. out.

I bring this up because I am currently packing (for Bali. What What!) and I find myself dancing around the room to Nobody on repeat. Did I mention I have a fanny pack? I only say this to solidify the cool factor in question by my song choice. 

And, a few hours later- Just imagine you've waited to read this part.... Well, I'm off to spend the night in the airport (a first) and head out bright and early at 6 a.m. Got my passport in my fanny, already on the hips and I'm ready to go. Don't get any dirty ideas you Aussies!!! --- As no Aussies actually read my blog, you can fully understand this statement by clicking here. Second paragraph, last line --- Catch ya' on the flip side; I'm Bali baby.

Here are a couple of stolen photos to hold you over until I have my own.

The rice fields in Ubud. This is the kind of stuff I will be seeing on my cycling tour (if the cycling doesn't kill me first, of course.)

Mt. and Lake Batur (largest crater lake on Bali). See the volcano? Ahh-mazing. And it hasn't even erupted since 1994. Since the first known eruption in 1804, 22 more have been recorded. True story. Of all the things I'm worried about on Bali, maybe this is the most intimidating :). I am planning to be at the top of that sucker before sunrise. Hopefully I will have some vantage points as nice as this one coming back down. Apparently there are some villages on the lake where I can spend the night and do things like hot mud baths. 'Tis the plan.

Only 12:30 and What a Day.

I'll start off with the money shot, because no one likes a buried lead. But, to give it to you, I'm going to need you to prepare yourself. Sit down, take a deep breath. Are you ready????? 

Duh duh naahhhh......... I bought a Fanny Pack. 

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. A Fanny Pack.

I'll get back to that part of the story later, for now I have to tell you what led up to this most awesomely awesome, 1000-cool-points-worth purchase. 

This morning I saw my vacation plans nearly crash and burn right before my eyes. Don't jump to conclusions or anything, my plane ticket is bought. I'm going. But it did. not. go. well. The skinny: the director is paying for our faces and she wants to see them, even if there couldn't be less for us to do. So, we have to prance in every morning this week and sign our names in beautiful penmanship, and then we can prance right out. Well, we don't want to do that, because you know, like, I could be doing better things. 

We were only told of our vacation on Thursday, and this didn't give us much time to act. On Friday, Lia did the talking solo and convinced our direct boss that letting us go was the right thing to do. This is where I made my mistake. They are going to Cambodia, I'm going to Bali. I should have confirmed previously. Stupid, stupid me. Today, I went to make what I thought was going to be a smooth transition into fake signing my name away but what I got was a nightmare. Tons of Thais involved, sheets to fill out for the director, asking formal permission for my absence. No No NO NO NO. I wasn't going to do any of that. And I didn't, I walked away. 

But it sucks. We have to be so careful about these kinds of things, it is all about illusions here. We don't have a thing to do at school, and I thought we were set. Lia and Rachel are long gone now, with no papers or information about their leaving. But I'll have to deal with my part tomorrow. Ugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.

So anyways, rough early morning for me. By mid-morning things were looking up considerably. I mean, I bought a fanny pack. And, I find the idea so amusing I have been laughing about it, out loud, to myself, ever since. If you are sitting at home reading this and thinking, What's so funny? I have a fanny pack, and I really like it. It's incredibly useful. News flash. There are few things in life more un-cool than a fanny pack. Deal with it.

Lucky for you, I'm here to change all that. Fanny Packs are in. Go out and get you one. All the cool kids are doing it (and by that I mean me). I too, purchased this out of necessity. Bali is not a place to be leaving valuables in your room. I was thinking more along the lines of a mini-backpack, but it just turns out the fanny was a better option today. 

I considered showing off it's rockin' features, as I'm sure you're dying to see, but you'll just have to wait. I do promise to sport it in a majority of photos whilst in Bali, if that's any consolation.